I didn’t know it was possible to spend $1000 in a day

And yet she did! Way to go Kathryn. I don’t know what she bought, but whatever it was, it fit inside a shoe box. Maybe should bought Gold Bullion.

Anyways, today we did the shopping trip. At 9.30 we caught the Waikiki Pink Trolley Line to Ala Moana Shopping Center. These Trolleys aren’t really trolleys in the way you think about them – think more a bus without windows. I’m still not used to tipping people. One driver didn’t say anything, so I gave him no cash, another talked the whole time, but then growled me so I didn’t tip him. I wonder if that’s how tipping works. It still seems like a pointless idea.

A bit like tax in Hawaii. Imagine if every shop just had prices without GST. Buy some candy for $1. Turns out that’s $1.15 please. Why not just say it’s a $1.15? Why subject me to working out basic maths to figure out what 4% or 5% of $2.79 is?

Anyways, made it to Ala Moana. 290+ stores, over 100 hectares. Probably not 100 hectares, but it was massive. We went into Macys, which is pretty much the Farmers of the United States. Worst store ever if you’re a man. Best store ever if you’re a woman. Just think, make up, perfume, clothes, more clothes, and some chocolate. Nothing remotely interesting if you’re a guy. Except an automatic soap dispenser. Because that’s the problem with society these days, pressing the soap button. Thankfully, we don’t have to worry about that heavy burden now in life. Just put your hands under, and boom, soap comes out. Now your bathroom can be like a mall urinal. Awesome.

After Macys, we swung by a Japanese department store in Ala Moana. It was great. It was literally just all Japanese people selling Japanese things. Amazing. Don’t even need to move to Japan now, I can just live in Hawaii and Kathryn can go to Maceys and I can go to this department store. After checking out a whole bunch of stuff I didn’t understand, we decided to head down to the makeup part of the mall.

Kathryn spent a silly amount of time in Saphora and MAC. All the girls in MAC wore short skirts and black and looked a little punk/post-apocalyptic. Think the girls of Hannahs, except they’re all Asian and wearing crazy makeup. I decided to swing by Sears. Sears is like the K-Mart of America (except for the actual K-Mart in America, but lets not talk about that). There was like a 60″ TV screen for $1000 because it was used. There was a powered push lawnmower in case you wanted to mow your own lawns, but it takes it out of your knees. But all the prices are pretty similar to New Zealand, except in US dollars.

After a million years waiting for Kathryn, we decided to grab a bite to eat. In KFC. I ordered a Double-Down! Boo-yah, that was delicious. Just chicken fillet, cheese, bacon, and then back to another fillet. I always felt that buns were just a waste of calories. Didn’t add BBQ sauce because I didn’t want to ruin the experience. And plus BBQ sauce doesn’t make things taste like they were in a BBQ. If I cook steak on a BBQ, I don’t go “Wow, this tastes just like BBQ sauce”.

After KFC, there was more shopping at Nordstrom. More makeup. Was super over it by this time. We then decided to go back to Maceys to see more makeup. Awesome! Turns out they didn’t have any. Maybe someone like Kathryn bought it all first.

So we decided to head back to Waikiki. The driver talked non-stop for 1 hour. About how he was a super hero. Seriously, if bullshit was a money-maker, he’d be richer than Bill Gates. The Japanese people just lapped it up. He made the experience authentic. His name was Blane. If you’re on the Pink Trolley and Blane’s your driver, I recommend your iPod touch. It’s shitty, but it’s better than Blane FM.

We then headed to Waikiki beach. OK, so it’s super popular, but it’s just amazing. So relaxing to swim around, check out all the people, marvel at the beautiful people, and then think about not eating another Double-down.

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