First off is catching the MTR to the end of the line to Sheung Wan. From here, it’s booking the ferry. There’s ferries every 15 minutes so you’re not likely to miss one, but there appears to be a bit of a wait for the ferries so it’s a bit wise to book earlier. Here’s my travel tip – book at the automated ticket machines rather than the front counters. There’s no one there, no lines, same booking, and it takes 2 minutes rather than 15. The trip costed 151 HKD one way to Macau.

There’s a bit of overpriced shopping in the ferry terminal, as well as a KFC if that’s your thing, but otherwise there’s not that much to do. One thing to note is you’re going to what’s considered a new country, so do factor some time for doing all that new country stuff, like leaving Hong Kong customs. Bring a pen, and be prepared to wait about 10 minutes. We forgot about doing all this, and so had to rush somewhat to get onto our ferry.

The ferry ride is pretty uneventful, and before you know it you’ll be at the Macau ferry terminal. At the Hong Kong ferry terminal we talked to the Macau Tourism Board who said that because Oxana is a Russian citizen she’ll need to prepare  5000 HKD in cash as evidence of funds, as well as an ongoing flight ticket, and pay 100 HKD for a visa. We didn’t believe that to be true, so in Macau it turns out all she had to do was going to the visa line which had about 3 people in it, pay 100 HKD, which is about 16 NZD, and then she was through. I on the other hand had to wait in the free, but 60 minute long line. Not happy.

The first thing you notice about Macau is all the free shuttle buses waiting to pick you up and whisk you quickly to your nearest friendly casino to part you of your money. The first shuttle we tried was the Venetian. Simply massive in size, this place was like having four Sylvia Parks glued together using tacky faux-Italian styling. They even had gondola rides! I didn’t buy anything substantial like a Samsung Galaxy Note, but did end up buying a back of Duty Free Daim bars. I’m not sure there’s duty on chocolate bars, but they were delicious and unavailable in New Zealand, so it was a good deal.

In all the casinos we went to we had a play and tried to win ourselves rich. I lost about 50 HKD in the end, or around 8 NZD. I guess I shouldn’t have fel so bad, but you know, compared to Oxana who won 800 HKD, I felt like lady luck was not on my side. Of course, Macau is the destination for the high rollers of China, the people who would not think twice about spending 500 EUR on a table and losing it immediately. I would think more than twice if I was in the same situation.

We next visited the grand daddy of all casinos in Macau, the Grand Lisboa. This is a pretty old and tired casino, and has been around since perhaps the start of casinos in Macau. It’s certainly an attractive building from far away, but the closer you get, the more run down it appears, especially compared to much newer casinos.

Like the MGM. This was also pretty nice, and revolved around the lion symbol. More casinos, more ways to lose money. If you’re playing the slot machines, do look for the 5 cent games, which will make your money go a lot longer. Of course, when you win big, you don’t really win big, but still, none the less, better to win or lose small, than to win or lose big right?

My favourite and most notable casino would be the Galaxy. Casinos are generally engineered to create an artificial environment in which it appears that the best thing to do is spend your cash. The Galaxy is the nicest environment to do this in, with nice sunny lighting, rather than a dark atmosphere full of chain smokers. It’s still legal to smoke indoors which I found to be a little weird, but I think this is becoming illegal soon.

By this time it was time to head back to the ferry terminal to head back to Hong Kong. By not purchasing your ticket in advance there’s no stress to ensure you don’t miss your ferry. On the other hand, when we arrived at 9.30pm the next available ferry was the 12.45am one. This of course, was of some concern to me. And so I came to a decision. We could instead choose the super class ticket which was twice the price, at 318 HKD, but was available for the 10.50pm sailing. Probably the best money ever spent. And with a quick wait, we were heading to Hong Kong ready for New Years Eve.

Anyways, headed to Victoria Peak today with some of my travel buddies. So far I’ve met a Canadian Teacher, a Canadian Animator, a Canadian Student, a Finnish Paper making Scientist, an American Structural Engineer, and a Russian Waitress. It’s going to be a good New Years with a wide variety of people.

First we headed to the mid level escalators. These go from around Central station 800m up a hill and are considered to be one of the longest escalators you can catch. These were interesting, but no one said that every third one would be out of service, forcing you to climb a pretty steep hill. At the end they just finish at a road, which I guess is a little anti climatic.

From here you can walk about 20 minutes towards the lower peak tram station. This tram and the view from Victoria Peak are considered a must do when in Hong Kong. Clearly every tourist had gotten the message as the line for the tram was one hour long. I like trams as much as the next guy, but an hour is a long time to wait in line. Like most things in Hong Kong, you could pay more and skip the line.

In the end we made it to the tram which appears to be a 10 minute trip. If you’ve every caught the Wellington Cable Car then this is a similar experience. I was a little underwhelmed to be honest.

The view from Victoria Peak however was amazing. With a 360 degree view of the city, being able to see the contrast between the super developed side of Hong Kong island with it’s skyscrapers upon skyscrapers, compared to the green bush of the peak of the mountain and the relative quiet of Stanley and Repulse Bay was interesting. Of corset you can also see across to Kowloon, and some of the outlying islands.

From here we decided to catch the number 15 bus to the Central pier. Great bus ride, and a good price at about 10 or 20 HKD.

From here we caught the high speed ferry to Lantau Island again. Today I would be playing the tour guide, and showing Oxana the big budda and taking the Ngong Ping ropeway, something I didn’t get a chance to do last time.

The ropeway also had a one hour line, which of course you could skip if you paid more money. Finally in the cabin, the views over Lantau I think have been the highlight of the trip. With the sunset in the background it was very scenic and I wished my wife could have been there to see it with me. Sure she would have hated the one hour line, but the views more than made up for it.

Once at the peak we the descended towards the airport crossing a huge channel of water perhaps 50 or a 100m in the air. Privately I thought to myself bad time for a earthquake.

Finally we were back to the Citygate outlet mall and the MTR station, where it was time for a teppenyaki dinner for 89 HKD, and then back to Causeway Bay and the hostel.

I fell asleep straight away. Until 3am when a bunch of drunk douches came in being loud and waking everyone up.

Personally I think the worst is the healthcare system. Health in New Zealand is seen as a right not a privilege, and generally not something to make money off. Even Russia has a better healthcare system for poor people.

A few of us were heading over to the other side of the island, a Canadian called Tobin who teaches Geography in English in China in a small village of 4 million, and a Russian called Aksana, which isn’t just a name on Shortland Street.

On our way Aksana bought an amazing leather jacket and jeans from high end brands I’d never heard of. She spent more on this stuff than my budget for everything for a week. It turns out in Moscow looks are everything, much like Hong Kong or Dubai. If you have wealth you should look the part, with people buying one or two Vertu phones, multi thousand dollars phones from Nokia that do no more than your current phone, but show people you can afford to buy them. I commented that in New Zealand people with wealth tend not to show it off, wanting to be modest, and also a bit of tall poppy syndrome too.

Anyways, next it was time to head to the other side of Hong Kong island to see the beaches. We caught the MTR to Central, and then the 6X to Deep Water Bay for a swim.

Like a traditional kiwi summer I headed to the beach. It was near empty. The weather was sunny, it was 22 degrees, the water temperature was warmer than Raglan on a good day. But it is Winter here in Hong Kong and people are wearing puffy costs and scarves and people think that anyone swimming would be mad. It was awesome, the water was amazing!

After a while it was late lunch time so we walked along the bays to reach Repulse Bay. Sadly there’s only a Pizza Hut there, so we caught the bus to Stanley.

Stanley is the home of the markets, so if you want an iphone case made of fake diamonds, you’ve come to the right place. It is also the most western part of the island in my opinion. We ended up eating at a traditional english pub, that was actually just full of white people. Not an Asian in sight, except for the employees. The menu – awful british pub food. If you’ve been to the Londoner, you’ll feel right at home.

Finally it was time to head back to Central. Tobin left us to go to the Happy Valley Night Horse Races while Aksana and I headed to Citygate outlet mall to look around and do some shopping. But in all honesty, things weren’t cheaper than New Zealand, and in most cases generally more expensive. I ended up buying nothing, though I do love the look of that Macbook Pro.

Now it was home time, so we headed back to the hostel, via the Sogo Japanese supermarket. It was amazing, I loved it, it was just like being back in Japan! Gifts a plenty will be bought here!

Turns out it’s a public holiday today so all the prices are more expensive. Coupled with the fact o caught the fast ferry rather than the slow ferry means I paid 40 HKD rather than 10 HKD. Still only 6 dollars is a good deal. While wandering around the fast ferry wondering if you can go outside, a woman told me this was not possible. We struck up a conversation and before you know it she was offering to tour me around Lantau Island.

Our first stop was the beaches around the ferry terminal. If all you’ve seen of Hong Kong is Hong Kong Island, then Lantau will be a whole new experience in relaxing and quiet. The white sand beaches were clean and inviting though bring winter the water was silly cold.

From here I headed with Clara to her friend’s place. This is where I lost my kidney. Jokes. We had a green tea with her best friend and then was played the Chinese Guitar. I also helped them with their email problem. Always on tech support.

Next we headed to the giant budda on the island. I must love giant buddas since I’m always seeing them. But first we had lunch at a Vegetarian restaurant run by the buddists. My guide paid for me which was amazingly nice, and we talked about how China is driven by economics rather than ethics. The soup reminded me of water vegetables had been boiled in, and the tea was pretty metallic, but I figured that’s what tea tastes like here.

Next was the budda itself. Only two hundred stairs to the base of the statue. It was slow going. Everything in Hong Kong is bilingual which its awesome. It’s like the China for foreigners. At the top we took some photos and looked at the awesome view over the islands.

Met a couple of foreigners on the bus, a German who had been studying for 6 years to become a lawyer, and a Japanese Architect who moved to Sendai after the earthquake to rebuild the city.

Next it was a stilt village to see how fisherman survive using ancient traditions. Evidently without refrigerators or health and safety concerns. But there are two ways to know your seafood is good to eat, it’s either still alive or dried. The smell was what you could imagine. The food, crazy. Who’s going to eat Starfish? Which bit is the tastiest? Alas I did not find out.

And that was it. We parted ways at Central station, with my promise to email her the photos of our day together.

I did but a Hong Kong sim card so finally I have data with me, the card is 88 HKD and 7 days of unlimited internet is 78 HKD.

There’s two main ways to get to Hong Kong island, the train and the bus. The train is quick and expensive, the bus slower and cheaper. I caught the A11 Cityflyer bus to Causeway Bay on Hong Kong island for 40 HKD. 10 HKD is about 1.66 NZD, or 1.50 NZD if mental maths is hard like for me. So the bus for 50 minutes was 6 NZD.

Hong Kong is a city of lights, lights everywhere, on all buildings, celebrating and selling Christmas. There must be a hundred power plants in China burning coal and melamine to power this city. It’s bright and amazing.

Got off and did a quick walk to the hostel. No signage externally at all. I did Google street view the place back home so I knew where it was, but seriously this was just a block of flats. Someone left so I could snark through the security doors and head to level 9.

To be presented with like a fire escape corridor. After wandering around I saw one apartment security grille with a post it note next to the buzzer. It was Pandora After 80s, the place I’m staying at. The toilet doesn’t fill with water so you have to use the showerhead to do it. That’s fill the toilet not take a dump.

Had dinner with an Israeli called Odead. Went to a Japanese place. I was weary of drinking the water, went for a fanta instead. There’s a safety pro tip for you. And now it’s 3.50am and I think it’s time to sleep and see what tomorrow has in store.

Auckland Airport is one of the top ten airports in the world, and it’s pretty nice and efficient, and has a good flow. Maybe it wasn’t very busy the day I went, but from check-in to the shops it must have been about 10 minutes, five of those me emptying my pockets. There’s a MAC counter in duty free (it’s really just JR Duty Free), and Kathryn asked me to get some goods for her. One cool thing is being able to purchase on the way out, and then pick up on arrivals. It makes a lot of sense, which should I have to carry liquor or makeup all the way somewhere else, just to bring them back to New Zealand.

I happened to have a Koru lounge pass by spending too much on my credit card, so I took advantage of that. Look, the food is generally pretty ok, bordering on average. There’s free wine, beer, spirits, and soft drinks. There’s wifi, a TV lounge, a photocopier (great for making copies of the passport), but even if that all disapeared, I wouldn’t mind. The only thing I really like is the shower. Being able to have a shower to refresh yourself is amazing. If the airport just offered showers I’d probably take that instead. Still, the rest of it was nice.

Before boarding the plane, I was seated in one of those massaging chairs. People were giving me dirty looks like I was masturbating. Know me before you judge me. But seriously, those massage chairs are awesome, and since all the good chairs are always gone at an airport you can put a coin in, and then keep sitting there after the chair’s stopped working.

One of the other advantages of going Premium Economy is being able to board the plane first. And I did. I was the first passenger on the plane. Booyah! The seats are still the same width as Economy, but there’s a bit more leg room. If I had a foot rest I’d be able to put my feet up, but bare in mind I am a little person. Still, the extra legroom is delightful, as is the fact there’s hardly anyone up here, in my row of nine, there’s three people, one in each segment. They offer you a glass of bubbles while others are getting seated, and there’s a menu for the food, rather than the regular “Chicken or beef?” question.

Much to my surprise as I’m sitting there drinking some orange juice watching the passengers board, does my eyes lock with one famous Ido Trent of Shortland Street fame, and his beautiful wife. And they walk past. To Economy. I wonder if this is there honeymoon? C’mon Ido, at least I tried to upgrade Kathryn and I to Premium Economy. How much is Shortland Street paying these days? And I know you did that Woman’s Weekly spread. I smiled.

As I write this we’re 350km away from Port Moresby. Amazing. I’m thankful that that’s not my final destination. Six hours more to go.

The flight is at 12.40pm, which means being at the airport by 9.40am – if there’s every a time in your life to be early to something, the airport and job interviews are those things.

Sadly, this means catching the only bus that will get me to the airport in time, the midnight bus, departing Hamilton at 5am, and arriving at Auckland Airport at 7.30am. This I felt was one of the more dangerous parts of my journey.

When you’re in a big city, one that has a lot of nightlife, being put and about at 5am isn’t that strange. But in Hamilton it is super strange. I can’t think of any good reason to be hanging around the streets of Hamilton at that hour of the morning, which is why I’d feel nervous if I encountered anyone on my way to the Transport Centre. Thankfully I didn’t, but I was on heightened alert. The same goes for the 15 minutes I’m hanging out in Manukau as well.

So as you can see, I have quite a bit of time to kill at the airport. Combined with the fact it was Christmas day yesterday which I found out when I was woken up at 5am, and partying last night until 11pm, means I’m super tired. Which is awesome! I find exhausting yourself before flying means that 11 hour flight becomes a 9 hour flight.

Anyways, I do have a Koru lounge pass, which will make my travel all the more pleasant. If you spend $15,000 on a Kiwibank Gofly credit card, you’ll get a lounge pass for two. Being able to relax, have a shower, and eat something that was once known as eggs is far better than being mindless waiting for your flight at the gate.

Speaking of which, the gate is another great place to not be late.

Anyways, today was the final day of shopping and activities. For shopping, we decided we needed another suitcase so we headed to Walmart, home of low low prices. We ended up buying a pack of three suitcases for $29 because it was cheaper than buying one duffel bag for $39. I don’t understand how prices work here. All I wanted was one suitcase. for $49 I could have bought five. Anyways, we also decided to buy a few ticky-tacky gifts for people. Keyrings and Macadamia Nuts for everybody! You’re all lucky. Turns out you can get six boxes of Hawaiian Host Caramel Chocolate Macadamia Nuts for $12USD. That’s damn good value considering one box in New Zealand is worth $10. I also tried to purchase things that looked interesting like Pringles Pizza, Cheese, and Baked Potato flavours, Twinkies, and Kathryn bought some Poptarts.

Next, it was a quick dash home, and then I caught the bus to do the Screamer. The Screamer is like the Shotover Jet, but for Waikiki. It does the same sort of thing, goes fast, spins, gets you wet, for an hour for $30USD. It was really good fun, but I do wish that I had done para-sailing instead. There’s always a regret when travelling. When I was in Tokyo I should have done this faux Japanese news and weather show, where you’re greenscreened into the show. Here, I regret not para-sailing. Or shark-diving.

Anyways, the Screamer provides you with a great view of Waikiki and the weather was simply amazing. It probably wasn’t the best trip to take the digital camera on, considering you get saturated with sea water, and the camera did get wet, but I did managed to get some pretty sweet video.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ynES149cA

After that it was dinner at IHOP. I bought ‘Big’ Country Fried Steak. Turns out that means Schnitzel coated in a KFC-like material, and then covered in a white sauce. It was super average. Sure the ‘Steak’ may be larger than my hand span, but it just wasn’t very tasty. IHOP, awful.

Today we decided to head up north towards North Shore, the famous surfing location on Oahu. We got ready, then we caught the free pink trolley bus to Ala Moana Center, then we waited for the 52 Circle Island bus. This bus, like all public buses in Hawaii costs $2.50USD, no matter the distance. When the bus pulls up, my advice is to wait at the front of the line to try and get a seat. Probably wouldn’t recommend the very back seat considering that’s where the engine is, giving you its gift of noise and warmth. However, sitting by the engine beats standing up for two hours. Which coincidentally was the amount of time it takes to go from Ala Moana Center to Waimea Bay. Since this is a public bus, the journey would probably be heaps quicker if you rented a car. Of course, it would cost $60USD instead of $5USD.

The bus slowly made its way through downtown Honolulu, including Chinatown. From what I could see, Chinatown is much like downtown except they’ve put Chinese words above the English words on shop fronts. Honolulu goes on for ages, just when you think you’re out of it, then you hit Pearl City, and its fellow harbour, Pearl Harbour. Moving on from there, it’s then past Waikele (where the outlet stores are), and then to central Oahu. Finally we got to see some native vegetation. A person on the bus asked if Pineapples grow on trees, or in the ground. After just checking Wikipedia right now, turns out they grow on a plant in the ground, but the fruit itself isn’t in the ground. Maybe you should just check Wikipedia yourself if you’re that interested in the lifecycle of Pineapples. Speaking of which, we went past the Dole Plantation, which is the home of pineapples on Oahu. It has the largest maze in the world, beating the Amazing Maze in Foxton. I can’t think of a more fun activity than being lost in a pineapple maze in the midday heat, with the sun beating down on you.

After that, we get to the middle portion of Oahu. The freeway turns into the interstate highway, except since Hawaii’s an island, it doesn’t link to any other states. But anyway, the scenery out here is a lot different to Waikiki. If you’re ever here, do yourself a favour and get out of Waikiki and Honolulu and explore the island a little more. See the sugar cane and pineapple plantations. See roads that are just made of dirt, yet are pretty much main roads. See people with outrageously large trucks and little regard for personal safety. Enjoy yourself.

After all of this, we finally made it to Waimea Bay. Just past the bay itself is presumably the small township of Waimea, featuring a small supermarket called Foodland, and a Starbucks. We stopped here for a coffee, and some food. I love supermarkets, you get a real feel for how regular people act and shop, and you get to see the foods that are sold to the masses. Today I found the largest fried chicken of my life, with massive thighs about a third larger than the ones sold at the Bakehouse Cafe (now Town and Country Cafe) for $1.50USD. I was impressed. For my side, I had Mac and Cheese, and some chocolate puddings to round out the meal. Now before you say that’s enough Tubby, we then we snorkelling for the next three or four hours. So beat that.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=83iST4_LMPc

Speaking of which, we headed to the beach. We only picked this beach because it was the closest one to the supermarket. And yet it was an amazing beach. Turns out there was a huge variety of fish down there, at least as much as the famed Hanauma Bay ocean park, except far less people, and a better environment for snorkelling. We grabbed a couple of snorkels from Foodland (@ $10USD a pop), and we went for it. Seriously amazing. Fish all colours of the rainbow, and my personal highlight, watching a school of fish feeding, and seeing how they swam and interacted with the environment, as I floated above. It was great, just great, and all for $25USD, including snorkels.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGqev1zqsLI

But everything great must come to an end, and with showers on the way, we decided to head back home. No stresses at all, just caught the same bus back for another $5USD. All fairly smooth running except for the crazy Hawaiian guy who was damn angry that were weren’t taking the most direct route to Ala Moana Center. In fact he was furious, and making a scene on the bus.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtXwqrKUiQE

So we decided to walk a mile or two in the middle of the day to the Waikiki Aquarium. But first, we went to the other end of Waikiki to find a wallet for Kathryn. We headed to the DFS Galleria and checked out Chloe. DFS Galleria is set up to look a bit like a cruise ship, and is full of fancy shops for rich Japanese tourists. Kathryn did find a wallet she liked, but there was no shop attendants. At all. None. Seriously, just grab a bag, walk the 10 meters outside, and you’re away laughing. I told the security guard. I mean seriously, if you’re not gonna be in your shop, just close the doors. That’s OK. It’s better than not being there at all…

So we headed out and went to Tiffanys to see if there was anything there. Kathryn saw a 4ct diamond ring. Turns out they don’t put prices on things like that. If you have to ask for the price, you probably can’t afford it.

So we decided to walk back to the Waikiki Aquarium, about 2 miles over. On the way we past the Waikiki Gun Club. I couldn’t resist going in there and shooting some handguns. The lady asked me if I wanted to upgrade to something more serious, like an AK-47 or an M16 Assault Rifle. I said no. She said that little kids pick the guns I use. I said we don’t have handguns in New Zealand, so this was as bad-ass as I was willing to go. Once you pay for your shooting, you have to pick a target. Kathryn suggested Osama Bin Laden. I said she shouldn’t joke about that sort of stuff here. Turns out there actually is an Osama Bin Laden target. I bought that one. Then it was through to the gun range. There were three guns, a Rutger pistol, a Rutger handgun, and some sort of revolver. Shooting a hand gun doesn’t have a lot of recoil, and correspondingly, they’re not super accurate. Then again, if you’re shooting someone 3m away, you don’t need super accuracy. I was quite shaky. I felt like someone had caught me with my hands down my pants. Shooting handguns is a naughty thing to do, but I’m glad I did it. I don’t like guns, and I still don’t like guns, but life is made of experiences and stories. Oh, I aimed for the head and crotch of Mr. Bin Laden and got them both. He’s dead.

Moving on, we then walked through the hot sun past the homeless people to the Waikiki Aquarium. IT was $7.50 each and I didn’t rate it. It took about 10 minutes to go through. There was one seal. Not good value.

We then retreated tired and blistered back to the Ohana Waikiki West. It has a pool and I always wondered why people would hang out at the hotel’s pool when the sea is a block away. It’s because the sea is a block away and sometimes you just can’t make it. Today was one of those times. So instead we went to the hotel pool and just dived in and relaxed. It was amazing. Sunbathing, relaxing, I nearly fell asleep in the sun. This time around I made sure I put sunscreen on, especially on my nipples. Trust me, sunburnt nipples are no laughing matter. It happened to me once, and then when I wore a shirt a special part of hell was reserved for me to experience.

We then decided to do a bit of shopping, this time for me. Back to Ala Moana and then a quick walk to Ward Center to hit up Nordstrom Rack. This was the place where I got the $25USD Calvin Klein glasses. Now it was time to get t-shirts, shirts, and shorts. Shorts here weren’t the greatest looking, but you could find some OK ones for $30 down from $50. Shirts were OK, and were around $25. T-shirts weren’t the best and were around $20. $20 is about the going price for a new good t-shirt, so instead we walked the half mile back to Ala Moana and went to Maceys. Found some sweet Rip Curl shorts, were $50, down to $35. Beat that Nordstrom Rack. After a bit of a wander around Maceys, it was 8.50pm and time to head back to Waikiki. The pink trolley bus back to Waikiki is free with an Ohana hotel room key, and so 100 million Japanese people were waiting for the same trolley. Not to worry, we waited in line 10 minutes and caught one of the last ones back to our hotel room.